This actually happened to me

Back in 2015 when I was working for Kepler, There was this beautiful lady who was interning there. (I just lied on the first paragraph and it's embarrassing) I have no idea if she was interning there or working somewhere else. All I can remember well is that she was doing her Master's degree (probably her PHD) and used to come to the office frequently. Pretty much had her spot there and would come in whenever she wanted and work on her thing. You might be asking yourself, why didn't I be a nice person and act like I care and ask her what she was working on? well... can't say I was too busy, it's just that sometimes you have to have a reason to walk up to someone and talk to them. especially when you know you're not disturbing. this story pretty much covers the whole thing and how I missed my window of ever finding out anyway.

It was her final week at the office and she was swamped with work and asked me if I had time to do/work on something for her that required someone with tech skills and i was the guy to go to. forgive my terrible memory but I don't remember what it was, it wasn't a big deal for me anyway. Given her schedule and her leaving very soon, it probably meant a lot that I came through and finished whatever that chore was on time. She was so happy she offered to take me out and buy me food. I didn't hesitate. I said yes. who says no to free good food anyways?? not me !
so she asks my fav restaurant and and I wasn't feeling like trying anything that I had eaten before and I had been to tons of restaurants and tried their food so I said to her I would rather go somewhere new and try a new delicacy.
she asked if I had ever tried Asian food and I said I had been to Khana Kazana and loved it there. "have you ever tried Korean food? " - she asked.
I said "No, I have not" and I hadn't.
"well.. how about we try Tangren restaurant, it's a great Korean restaurant and I liked their food".
I said "that's fine with me. I can't wait" and I couldn't wait.

So we set the day for Thursday evening, a day before she would fly out, or maybe a day that would be her last coming to Kepler. which ever that was, it was the day before her last.

She was at the office on Thursday, had the number at Tangren and she called to place in an order and reserve a table for 2. Ask she talked to them on the phone, I presume she was picking the food for us ( I was ok with it because I had no idea what it would be anyways and I like surprises) she asked me if I like spicy and I said " I LOVE VERY SPICY FOOD" with a lot of excitement.
Now, that was my first mistake. You see... if you've watched enough movies or at least read about Asian food, you know they fancy spices(chili to be precise) and because I had been to an Indian restaurant, I thought it was that kind of spicy. But the Indian food wasn't spicy, yes there was pepper in it, but it wasn't that bad and I thought Indians ate more pepper than any other culture. So my dumbass thought it would be the same or less and assumed it would even be ok if they added more pepper because I love pepper anyways.

"he said very spicy, still on the phone, looked back at me and asked, are you sure you want very spicy?"
Dude.. I love spicy food. make it very spicy.
"sounds like he knows what he's talking about, make it very spicy"
hang up the phone and looked at me in a concerned way and said "I didn't know Rwandans eat that much pepper to be honest"
I said "I have been to an indian resto before and I ate so much spicy food and I loved it".
she looked so surprised and said "oh wow.. ok. I hope you like that one too"

5pm took forever to arrive but it was finally 4 and I had wrapped everything I had to do for the day and assigned whatever was left do do to my assistants. dropped my laptop at home and took a bike straight to the resto.

She was there waiting." sorry I'm late"- i said.
"no no don't apologize, I just literally got here. it hasn't been more than 3 minutes" - she said.
As we took our seats, the waitress came to out table with 2 menus and she informed her that she had made a call in earlier to make an order. The waitress then said, in that case, would you like anything to drink then?
we made our orders for the drinks and food came following immediately and I couldn't believe my eyes on how beautiful the food was. and it smelled like heaven. Remember I still had the wrong idea of spicy food and you probably have the idea of where this is going by now.

So the chef came and asked again.. "one more order is coming and I waited to confirm with you because we are concerned since you are Rwandan, the food is very spicy, are you sure that's the one you want? " I said, I love spicy foot. The voice I used wasn't too loud but it was loud enough that the other people on other tables next to us, had to turn around and look at this Rwandan making bold claims they love spicy food. Chef said "ok then. we will bring the food"
it was a beautiful plate full of green beans (imiteja) and I'm a sucker for those. it's one of my favorite foods and the way that was made and how it smelled made me wish I had done whatever the other chore was earlier so that I would eat that like a month before. but Karma works on it's own timing.
Fast forward, I picked 2 with my fork and chewed on them and screamed "omg these are sooo good" the chef went.. I'm glad you like them. now enjoy the food. The beans were mildly spicy and I was like, this is the pepper you was talking about? I told you it wouldn't be an issue.
I saw her put a fork in her beans picked 3 bean slices and ate them and immediately agreed with me on how good they were.

So I followed the suit and because I have a big mouth.. I decided to pick 5. The beans weren't so big, the were cut in not so small even trunks and at that time I hadn't noticed that the other Asian people on the sides had noticed that the first pieces I had picked were beans only and were waiting for the fun part. They also noticed that I hard put 5 pieces of green beans on my fork ready to chew.I didn't care much to notice everything happening around me, I was having fun and the 5 pieces of imiteja had finally landed in my mouth.
Then she asked " so Simon, how was work today?"
You know, crunchy food, you have to finish chewing on it before you can say a word or your voice is going to sound like a spade rubbing on a sandy floor. I chewed fast enough to give an answer in time, and when I looked up to her face, I noticed that a few eyes were all looking at me. And then that moment between subconsciously telling your mind, "this food is ready to swallow" and actually swallowing, I had a feeling I had probably chewed on pepper and it was gonna burn going down my throat and boy was I wrong. all the beans I had put in my mouth were probably pepper. green oven hot chili mind numbing eye watering pepper.
mistake number 2. instead of admitting I was wrong about how hot it would be and maybe find a good way to not embarrass myself and spit it in a manner that was appropriate, I swallowed immediately so I can catch breath and answer her question. This was all happening so fast.

As the pepper went down my throat, it felt like I had just ate and swallowed the entire sun. I felt so much heat my senses went numb. my eyes started watering, I wasn't even caring about the whole restaurant watching me. I don't even know if they took pictures, all I know is that in that particular moment I needed to be frozen into a something at -100 degrees.

I couldn't say a word. I lost my voice. I opened my mouth to speak and it hurt like a mf, voice couldn't come out. everyone next to our table was laughing hysterically. The chef brought me a glass of milk, I don't know if there was any sugar there but as I poured it down my throat, I didn't even feel the taste of it. my taste buds were all numb.
I was burning and sweating.. it was the first time I felt my ass cheeks sweat.

And I can't blame these people for laughing really, because I was bragging on how spicy food don't got shit on me. so yeah.. it was only fair that they laugh. So there we sat.. everyone started minding their own business. Zoey(that's her name) began telling me about her day and stories to pass time until I was able to speak. 3 minutes passed. they changed my soup to non spicy and there I was eating on rice, meat, and everything there so badly hoping that either one is going to ease the hotness and the pain.

About an hour + later - - after we'd eaten all the food and my voice not coming back, Zoey asked for a bill and said we can take a walk so that I can let in some fresh air. also bad idea. Now I was gonna walk on the street without the ability to speak. what if I meet someone I know and have to say hello? ~ I thought to myself. But was incapable of saying that out loud so I nodded my head in agreement. The chef( or whoever that guy was, asked if the food was good. perfect mockery since he knew that I couldn't speak, but I gave him a Naruto "BELIEVE IT" thumbs up as we headed out.

As we walked from Gishushu to Chez Lando ( so nice of her by the way)I knew that she had said too much and was probably tired of being the only one to entertain both of us. She signaled motor bikes right after we arrived there. She had to talk to the motor driver and I had to pretend I don't speak Kinyarwanda. so she negotiated all the prices.
Gave me a hug, apologized for my loss of voice and got on a motor.
I opened my wallet to pay the motor guy and he saw my national ID and said "Gute utazi ikinyarwanda ufite indangamuntu y'uRwanda?"

I made horrible mute signs and I know this guys had never been to Gatagara so there's no way he would know what I am indicating other than him thinking "afite ubumuga bwo kutavuga" so he acted so empathetic and said nothing more.

That was the longest 2 hours of what was the most embarrassing moment I ever had in my life. and maybe I will tell you guys what happened the next day at the office. it wasn't all fun and it was even worse when I went to the bathroom.

That day I learned to never be cocky and never to assume with confidence on things that require experiencing to actually know. it's always a different experience, especially with food.

The End