Dear Rwandan Women, We Failed You.

 I don't remember much of it but in 2003, I was only 12 years old and only cared about my next football game with my childhood friends and how to survive bullies. But I remember all the buzz and the speeches and how the new constitution would aim to get women in parliament with a 30% involvement. and it happened. It was a capital W for all women across Rwanda. The bar was set high. The standards couldn't be any higher.

Fast forward 2021, there's a lot of women in all sectors of the country and in all professions. In some sectors, women command a larger percentage than men. It's a good thing, it gives hope to women that there's so much to strive for and working hard could get you a career as a woman in this capitalist world ruled by me. Slightly different to the old days when women would only be groomed to be wives.

But you know the thing about setting the bar high? it's that you have to be consistent in what you do. You have to keep the level of commitment that you had when you first began. You have to always remember the reason why you started that initiative in the first place.  

As Newton describes it in his 3rd law of motion " If an object A exerts a force on object B, then object B must exert a force of equal magnitude and opposite direction back on object A. This law represents a certain symmetry in nature: forces always occur in pairs, and one body cannot exert a force on another without experiencing a force itself."

By this logic, you can only overcome an obstacle by applying more resilience against an obstacle otherwise you won't move it. And it will take the amount of force/energy that's multiple times the forces that you are trying to fight against in order to eradicate them completely. 

Now, the problem I have with Rwanda (and all of these are personal opinions) is that we are far different from the things we self proclaim. especially with WOMEN EMPOWERMENT. You see, that women empowerment initiative that was started all those years ago, has come to a point where it's been forgotten or rather, the forces were diverted to other things and left that initiative to rot and be forgotten. Things look like they are going back to square one. What looked like a good initiative, is about to be the reason we become a laughing stock globally and it won't take long. With the rise of the internet and social media, there's so much that is unfolding and it puts into perspective what the current status of things here is. We don't only have to rely to the news outlets to get all the facts and neither will the rest of the world. Domestic violence issues are at an all time high, men are abusing women and walking away freely. Women's voices are being silenced. I mean, whatever could go wrong, has gone wrong really. Those jobs women have, sorry .."those jobs that men gave/give women" there's not a single day that I don't read on my Twitter timeline about men taking advantage of them. it looks more like  a lot of those jobs come at a higher cost for women than men. Honestly, it does not surprise me at all.

But you know what is surprising? For a country that is claimed by the whole world to be top 10 in the whole world on women empowerment and gender equality, it's a crying shame that these things happen in large numbers. 

1. A government official assaults a woman doing her job on broad day light. Gets fired in what I presume was a fear of public backlash because it didn't take long until this man came back with swag and not only go back into being a government official, but this man literally got a promotion. He's a senator now. excuse my French but "WHAT THE FUCK !!!" I mean, there's a ton of smart people in this country and I refuse to believe he was that irreplaceable. Didn't have to rub it in women's faces like that.

2. Injustice and rapist protection:   I understand the whole idea of parading people as an example when they do bad things. you know.. as a way to make sure others understand they shouldn't do those things again. so I understood every time people were paraded for breaching Covid-19 guidelines in a difficult time that this pandemic is. Hell, the police even paraded a bride and groom (with their names) all over the internet and social media. But get this, SOLDIERS, the very people that you look at when you walk at midnight and feel thankful for, for the peace and protection, raped a woman, they got caught. presumably fired them and hopefully they will serve jail time for those crimes but then again. What happened to parading people for an example?? what happened to displaying their names?? ffs their court hearing should be televised and these people should be jailed for life. It's not fair at all. There are certain jobs/ and positions in society that some crimes should carry a much bigger weight than a normal civilian. Imagine the horror all women will feel when they see a soldier in the neighborhood at night. just imagine that.  We've also seen videos on social media police assault women as well.

3. Supporting women abusers.

I know, y'all about to say this required no government intervention and some other unnecessary bullshit that I am not ready to hear but "how in the good name of fuck did a man convicted on multiple counts of assault on women, perform on our home turf??" My twitter timeline was full of women crying for help, merely asking you to stop giving a platform to someone that they look at and remember all the cruel things they surfer at the hands of men?  Koffi Olomide is an example of a shitty human being. How the hell did that happen? idk.. Is that money from ticket sales enough that it's going to pay off some world bank loan or something? Was it much that women's mental health sounded like a worthy sacrifice? 

At this point, WE SHOULD STOP, Lying to the whole world that women empowerment is a thing here. Don't none of you all try to say you give a single fuck about mental health. Perhaps jobs creation for women can be claimed. I mean, they would have eventually gotten those jobs sooner or later because this is not 1850. But what they go through daily at the hands of men, is what's sickening. The constant silencing of their voices is immensely detrimental. That is what should be worked on. It's their right as humans to live as freely as men do. 

But if you are looking for places to start, though I'm not qualified to give any opinion on the matter, for starters... make rape crimes a life sentence. Make jail sentences life long for all convicted assaulters. LISTEN. yeah.. LISTEN, BELIEVE and provide justice for them. All I'm trying to say, make the consequences of these crimes  too damn horrifying that any man will think of even when they are drunk. And justly put that into actions. That's not too much to ask is it? They keyword here is "convicted" 

What I'm saying may sound harsh and you may call me insensitive. someone once replied to my comments and said I'm being too harsh because these men have wives and kids and my reaction is always "the fuck they do !! does that erase their crimes?" Again. if it is what it would take to mitigate the problem at hand, I am more than okay saying people should pay that price for their horrible actions. Women too.  

 Look, I don't have to be a woman to understand the pain they go through. A lot of my friends are women, and the stories they tell me are horrifying. hell ... I don't even identify as a feminist. I identify as a human. It only takes morals and conscience to make a good decision and do what is right. you basically have to treat a woman as you would treat your fellow male friends. What you wouldn't wish for yourself or your sister or mother, you shouldn't do or wish the same to another woman. Period.  I'm obviously no angel around women and I've probably fucked up a few too many times too. Lord knows I've been dumped on multiple occasions and it was my fault on every occasion. I'm human. But I learn from my mistakes and those of others. I try not to repeat my mistakes or do shitty things women tell me other men have done to them. That is the person I try to be daily because it's the person that I want to be. That is what I call having a moral fuckin conscience. That is what I want my future kid to grow up to be. 

Disclaimer: I am not and did not point fingers at anyone in particular with the "you" or "your" I may have used in second person perspective. If I did, I used it to refer to all Men. Rwandan men in general. and especially those men in their respective fields that have power and have the ability to enact policies that would make change to the status quo. wherever you think my opinions are wrong, stand to be corrected and taught otherwise,  Feel free to leave a comment.

I'd like to take a moment and applaud all men that raise their voices despite all the controversy and criticism that you're doing it for clout and other ungodly things they brand you to be. It only matters what you believe in and you do not stand alone. Right now you're out numbered but it's not a reason to be silent.  Anyways.. here's a link to my favorite song https://youtu.be/GJU-S1t2r1M PEACE !